Marital success



Secrets are somethings or information that is better kept or meant to be kept from someone. In terms of relationships, is not to lay bear every information to your significant other, but it will help your relationship and give them a grasp of who you are if they are let in on any form of secret. Especially from a past relationship.

Failure to share this so called secrets with your significant other always in most cases have a way of coming back to hurt your relationship in an explosive way and trust can be broken. One of those problems is when you are married with secrets that you are keeping from your spouse. If love, trust, and intimacy are the oxygen that fuels your marriage, having secrets is like putting faulty wires in the tank. The results can be catastrophic. On the surface, it may seem like your marriage is smooth sailing, but one minute later, it’s in a fight for its life when those secrets blow up. Here are some secrets couples keep that hurt their marriage.

Unhappiness in the Marriage

Many people wander into a place where they are discontent with their marriage. The reasons for keeping it a secret could be fear of hurting feelings, thinking the problems will eventually sort themselves out, or maybe they just don’t want to admit that they have become unhappy. Sometimes it’s no one’s fault in particular. Sometimes bad habits have developed by both that just need work. In the end though the problems are not going to go away by themselves. They have to be brought into the open and dealt with. Otherwise, you and your spouse will continue to separate.

Fulfilling Intimacy From Someone Other Than Your Spouse

“Sex is designed to build intimacy between a husband and wife.” It’s easy to see how an affair is hurtful to a marriage. But it’s the subtle things that are easily missed or justified long before an affair starts that lay the foundation for disconnection. Sex is designed to build intimacy between a husband and wife. Sexual satisfaction and fulfillment are reserved for a spouse. When sex is lack, don’t just keep quite talk about it and resolve it. Counseling should be sought. When a spouse secretly seeks to satisfy him/herself sexually through masturbation, pornography, or an affair, it destroys intimacy. The soul bonds with those other things rather than the spouse. With every sexual engagement apart from the spouse, the desire for that spouse gets duller until the fire finally goes out.

Financial Matters

No matter who is the primary breadwinner, in marriage, the money belongs to both of you, unless you have come to some sort of divided monetary arrangement. Disagreements need to be talked about and worked out, not hidden. When one party makes financial decisions in secret that violate the couple’s arrangement, it is a form of financial infidelity. One of the most important ingredients for a thriving marriage is trust. Keeping spending secrets is a major violation of trust and a fast track to disaster.


Quietly disagreeing with a decision a spouse makes undermines the relationship in two ways. First, it’s a silent lie. Dishonesty equals disunity. Second, feelings of disagreement have to settle somewhere, and when they are unresolved, they usually turn into resentment. Third, a married couple should always think of themselves as having one brain. Working through disagreement causes us to make more informed decisions, even when it is frustrating. Silent dissent makes the relationship and the spouse weaker.

Past Dealings

Our past relationships significantly impact our current ones. We bring all of the wounds, baggage, and dysfunction they have caused into the marriage. Hiding it only leaves a spouse confused and separated. It is like a wall between one another. Do you have to share with one another all of the things you did physically in previous relationships? No. But it is important for them to know the level of intimacy and how you were affected by it. It’s good for them to know what went right and what went wrong. It helps them to know you better and how your past relational experience has formed you.

I know a lady who met her present husband and she told him all about her past relationship and even the baggage of a child. There were those who were not happy who feel they slander the relationship. They actually did after some years into the marriage, but the truth they could not destroy the marriage as they thought. All the secrets they thought they knew the lady told her husband as the relationship became serious. If you are in a fix on the above subject just give us a call or click on the link to join our coaching for help to heal the marriage.

Recommended Articles

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *