HOW TO HEAL FROM YOUR PAST
As we grow from kids to adulthood there is a tendency of having a past. So it means everyone has got a past, It might be ugly or beautiful. But whatever side of the coin your past belong to is not important. It is what you do with past that matters, past unhealed is like poison to your soul and it drags you down every day of your life. Therefore you need a healing from the past. It hurts so true, don’t allow the past stop your tomorrow from shining.
Holly Brown notes: encourages us to stop the blaming game.
“The problem with blaming others is that it can often leave you powerless. For example, you confront the person (your boss, your spouse, your parent, your child), and they say, “No, I didn’t,” or worse, “So what if I did?”, then you’re left with all this anger and hurt and no resolution.
All your feelings are legitimate. It’s important to feel them fully, and then move on. Nursing your grievances indefinitely is a bad habit, because as the saying goes it hurts you more than it hurts them”.
The only way you can accept new joy and happiness and love into your life is to make peace with your past. If your heart is filled up with pain and hurt from the past, you can never be open to anything new.
1. Let go
A concise decision and commitment to “let go” is what you need. If you don’t make this conscious choice up-front, you could end up self-sabotaging any effort to move on from this past hurt, mistakes, error name it. Letting go empowers you as a person, for the thought of the past keeps you bound and powerless.
2. Ability to express yourself
Talk about the past issues, hurt, pain etc with someone you feel very comfortable to share deep things. Someone that will also not betrayal the confidence of your words to another person. In so doing, the person will be able to pinpoint your own area of fault as regards the past. You can chose to also write about it in a journal, but I don’t always encourage that because many people go back to read this journal and reinvigorate the pain again.
3. Stop the blaming act
Being the victim feels good — it’s like being on the winning team of you against your generation. Nobody cares about you been special or blue blooded, just get over yourself and take responsibility for the past mistakes. Always looking for whom to blame is running away from the truth process, which makes things messy. Adam created a mess for the whole world, instead to take responsibility when asked by God?” He said it was the woman whom you gave to me” we know the remaining story.
You need to take responsibility for your own past to obtain a future happiness, and not put such power into the hands of another person. Taking responsibility puts you in control of your future.
4. Look forward
When you focus on the now and future, you have less time to think about the past. When the past memories creep into your mind as they are bound to do from time to time, acknowledge them for a moment. And then bring yourself gently back into the present moment. Some people find it easier to do this with a conscious cue, such as saying to yourself “Forward ever”. It is a choice for you to look forward and live healthy feeling love and be loved.
5. Forgive all parties including yourself.
You don’t support bad behaviour, but everybody deserves our forgiveness. Sometimes we get stuck in our pain and our stubbornness, we can’t even imagine forgiveness. But forgiveness isn’t saying, “I agree with what you did.” Instead, it’s saying, “I don’t agree with what you did, but I forgive you anyway.”
Forgiveness isn’t a sign of weakness. Instead, it’s simply saying, I’m a good person. You’re a good person. You did something that hurt me. But I want to move forward in my life and welcome joy back into it. I can’t do that fully until I let this go. Remember Bible says, “For if ye forgive men their trespasses your heavenly father will also forgive you.” Mathew 6:14
Forgiveness is a way of tangibly letting something go. It’s also a way of empathizing with the other person, and trying to see things from their point of view.
And forgiving yourself may be an important part of this step as well, as sometimes we may end up blaming ourselves for the situation or hurt. While we indeed may have had some part to play in the hurt, there’s no reason you need to keep beating yourself up over it. If you can’t forgive yourself, to obtain God’s full forgiveness for your lives future becomes a problem. Then your case will be what I call “Delivered but wrapped in death clothing (sin)”.
So do everybody and yourself a very big favor; Let go of the past pain. Gain perspective and be different today and welcome happiness back into your life.
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