AVOID THE PITFALLS
Marriage will be a safe heaven everyone will like to go in and remain if the following pit falls can be avoided. Many that went this way never made it to the end. Many that the trace of these pit falls is still lingering in their marriage are still falling down and rising up till date. So to be fore warned is to be fore armed.
Pride goes before a fall that is what the bible says. To be grate you must first be a servant to all. Husband must not come into marriage with the attitude of Lord to a slave, where the woman becomes the slave object without Love, no respect at all. You are created to love and cherish her as your own body. Wife must also not come to the marriage with a supremacy attitude. Maybe you are more educated than the man, this is the case in most of the African countries, also where the woman is the bread winner due to one circumstance or the other. Kill pride woman, no man even if is a kid will want the woman to Lord it over him.
There is a difference between criticism and constructive criticism. While the first one is self damning the second is to help for a persons growth in an area that is been pointed out at the time. You never see anything good in your spouse, no. Whatsoever, that you did not do, but your wife or husband do, you will have to criticize. Don’t continue using the word, you should have known better, just because you want to criticize your spouse.
Respect in marriage should be a mutual thing. There is nothing that erode self-esteem like disrespect. Avoid disrespect right from the very beginning so that even children born to this same marriage can be introduce into the arena of respect. Learn to talk privately away from the prying eyes of others. If there are children already learn to talk about any differences in the bedroom behind close doors. Is wrong for you the woman to call your husband names before anyone. Same way is wrong to disrespect your wife either before relatives to show you are in control.
This is very common in our society. She took all the time out to prepare meals thinking you will like it, and the moment you taste it you tell her she was not a good cook, either by bringing up how well your mother train you to cook or you compare her cooking with your mother or your ex-girlfriend. Wow, you are writing letter to trouble with that judgement. Deal with where you are and see how you can improve on it instead of been judgmental every day. I know someone whose reasoning for divorcing his wife was because she drinks a lot of juice and she does not know how to cook his native meals. So she is not useful at all and must be done away with. He nagged her until they parted ways and he got married to another woman.
Lack of priorities
This basically is as a result of lack of time management. This is not for you to go back to school to learn time management but for you to be able to tell yourself as matter of preference what needs to be done and at what time and where it must be done. Both couples have their priorities, and it must try to blend. If is not blending, bring it to the table and talk about it and agree a way forward. As a man don’t get married to a lady who values her career more than her life, she will not have recreational time for you. And as a woman don’t marry a man that is married to visiting mummy every night before he sleeps, you can never have his attention.
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