THE BASIC NEEDS IN MARRIAGE
Needs is a necessity that cannot be avoided in life, there are some basic needs that must make life go on . These are subsistence safety, understanding growth connection, which are basically to love, contribute and create self esteem and identity, self governance and freedom, the last but not the least is significance and purpose.
What makes marriage or any relationship worthwhile is meeting the needs of one another. A happy wife is a happy marriage, but meet the needs of the man and you have him at the tips of your finger.
What are the needs of man that must be met by the woman!
- Sexual fulfillment – every man is a sex animal or object. When the man needs sex from his wife and does not get it, if it continues it leads to rejection and total withdraw of attention from the woman. Later he finds this satisfaction from else where, this is one of the reason for unfaithfulness in marriage or extra marital affairs that is wrecking our society like a plague. Sexual fulfillment gives the man a sense of belonging in the woman, it creates a bond between partners. Above all it brings complete openness and heavens blessing on a marriage.
- Recreational Companionship – marriage is for recreational purpose, the man needs attention and you the woman must create that time to take care of him. He needs the “YOU” time together to do common things.
- Attractive spouse– every man needs a woman he can be proud of anytime. You must not be a beauty queen to be attractive. No matter your age or looks you can make yourself attractive for your man. I know of a man who was involve in extra marital affairs. He made up his mind to change. He decided if he sees a pretty lady on the way, the clothes that attracted him, he will go and buy those type of his clothes for his wife to wear at home. That was how he got rid of the act and set himself free.
- Domestic support – Every man wants a woman that is domesticated. You don’t expect to wake up in the morning and not be able to make your bed. No man wants such a woman as wife. I know of a lady who could not cook not even to boil water in a pot. At her fathers house before marriage she was the fathers favorite, she was never at the kitchen. Then she got married and she could not find her footing. The husband had to return her back home to be tutored.
- Admiration – a man wants a woman that can admire him. Men wants a woman who will be dotting over them.
The sum total of this is to marry the right person, who will be your friend and you continue to grow in love and not out of love.
The needs of the woman the man must meet!
- Affection – every woman needs affection from her husband. She wants to hear “I Love You” every second of the day. The little little affection keep the woman sane in a marriage. The world of a woman is built around affection. I f she is not affirmed, she seeks for the wrong places to get it.
- Conversation – every woman no matter what temperament she is a little talkative in nature. The woman wants a man she can talk to, converse anything or nothing with. Most emotional outburst from women in marriage is as a result of the absence of conversation. Conversation makes it easy to know when the woman is unhappy and you fix it immediately.
- Honesty and Openness – every woman wants her husband to be an open book. Even if you made a mistake it is better you tell her first than to tell someone else and she hears from another source. Don’t play your feelings with any form of dishonesty, it brakes the heart of the woman a lot.
- Financial commitment – women like it when you commit to them financially. All days are not the same, the woman can shoulder the financial commitment of a family, but she will be happy doing it because she knows her husband is trying his best and things will change for the better, not the opposite when the man is just lazy. Let the woman know your financial capacity at every step of the way. Don’t give false financial hopes, that will lead to trouble.
- Family commitment – women in general looking for a man who take care of the family well being. Don’t be an absent husband, ever travelling husband, workaholic husband, board meeting type of husband, always hanging out with friends type of husband. Family commitment is paramount than to having a fat bank balance that you can afford to send the woman round the globe, but you are never there.
As you nurture your marriage apply these basic principles to either your husband or your wife, the marriage will be a safe heaven where you will want to come back to in the company of each other always.
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